Personality Quirks

This was the Quirky page that I used on the original website.

Talents:

            -I can climb anything that I can fit my fingers in or arms around.

            -I use my feet like an ape to pick up or throw things, baseballs to darts.

            -I can be a social chameleon and blend into just about any scene.

            -I unintentionally mimic people’s dialect and mannerisms.

Weaknesses:

            -I often fall down movie theater stairs.

            -I tend to spread myself very thin.

Turn-ons:

            - I am an eyes and smile guy.

            - I'm drawn to strong personalities. The more unique, the better.

            - Similarly I am attracted to girls who live with passion.

            - A brain is so sexy, give me an intellectual any day.

            - I'm a sucker for a massage.

            - Bright, confident, loud clothing.

Turn-offs:

            - I can't stand stuck up girls.

            - I can't put up with materialists.

            - Breast implants, plastic surgery.

            - I know I shouldn't stereotype, but sorority girls. Prove me wrong here...

Favorites:

Authors:

            Chuck Palahniuk is by far my favorite. His books dwell with that gritty level of the self that everyone has the potential to slip into, but no one admits. I find I tend to write like he does in terms of sarcastic style. I’m also a huge fan of Franz Kafka. His stories are like Rorschach tests that beg the readers to infer their own meaning and apply their own lives to the text. As for poetry, I dig on old school Lord Byron.

Movies:

            Kill Bill 1 & 2 are equally my favorite movies. They are both so different, but Tarantino does such an amazing job of building all the characters to be ones that you can both love and hate. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey easily has the most epic ending to any movie ever, plus awesome guitar effects by Steve Vai. The Big Lebowski is an absurdist’s dream; it’s so visually complete and artistic, but adapted to a low class environment that makes it just inherently beautiful. SLC Punk is a great coming of age movie where a young man is forced to realize the flaws of the philosophies of his life and move on to something bigger. The Incredibles is the greatest animated movie ever, just a great message of a family sticking together. Lastly I say The Fifth Element, simple symbolism and an everyman rising to the occasion.

Music:

            Since I have been a kid, my favorite band has always been They Might Be Giants, a friendly, happy little band whose music just naturally elicits a smile. KMFDM is a German industrial band that has a strong, heavy sound that punches you in the gut. The Aquabats, the perfect combination of comic books and ska, how can that be bad? Ben Folds writes some of the most profound lyrics out there and knows how to polish a hook. Type O Negative have developed a sound that is so complete that it feels like there is no more room left in the air. In terms of intensity and passion, no one does it like Andrew WK. He's just another passionate person who probably has more to say than I do. Lastly, my all time favorite is anything done by Mike Patton, the ex lead singer of Faith No More. He experiments with all genres and all sounds. Check out California by Mr. Bungle, my all time favorite album.

Comics:

            Everyone has a drug to help them escape reality, be it alcohol, professional sports, drugs, or exercise; mine is comics. I view them as a perfect little world of order where in the end, good always triumphs over evil and the hero gets the girl. Plus I’m a writer, and some comics have such amazing aspects of symbolism and satire that they become a social critique of modern society. My personal favorite has always been the X-Men, a comic that is symbolic of people standing up for the equality of all and using gifts to help society. I am also a fan of the Savage Dragon, a brilliantly written comic that hits below the belt, mixing satire with action in a story of a man who strives to make an abnormal life normal.

Food:

            When it comes to food, out of force of old habits, I eat anything I can get my hands on. Free food is free life sustaining calories. I never pass up anything edible. However, I am a great cook in the kitchen and love to cook for and entertain guests. As soon as I could, I taught myself how to cook. My personal favorites are Chicken Parmesan or a Swedish Cheese Fondue. When I cook I use lots of herbs and spices and definitely believe that an aesthetically pleasing meal tastes twice as good.

Computer:

            When I was young, my family had an Apple 2C, one of those old computers with a green screen and games no more advanced than Pacman. Now I have stuck to my roots and have a Macintosh. It is the one thing I kept when I sold everything else. I have my entire MP3 collection on it and play music every second of the day that I am home. I use it to make music and video editing. I have all kinds of bad student movies from high school, including a terrible version of Macbeth. Of course I do a lot of writing, so when I am entrenched at the end of a day spilling my thoughts, the uncrashable reliability makes sure I never lose a period. Though now that I’m making web pages and doing graphic and sound editing, I’m considering an upgrade. I have centerfolds of the Dual G-5 hanging up in my room. She is such a hot little number.

Locomotion:

            I’m not a real fan of vehicles. To me, a car is a car is a car. As long as it keeps me dry and warm in the cold, and gets me from point A to point B, what more do I need? I’m against those who have such opulent tastes that they spend more on a car than most people spend on a house. I believe that need determines size; if you aren’t driving around a sports team constantly, do you really need a gas guzzling SUV? But I digress, pet peeve. I must say that I have an Envy Board, a defunct longboard that I love. It is the quickest way to get from point A to B in a short distance without kicking the environment in the balls. I also have a Rock Hopper mountain bike that I ride to work when it’s not cold and raining.

Random Eccentricities

            - Synesthete: For more information on it refer to here. For how it affects me personally, here.

            - Dental freak: I am such a proponent of good dental hygiene. If you don’t floss or if you have a tongue ring, I’ll badger you until you treat your mouth better. (Of course the piercing place is going to tell you there are no dangers to your teeth. Plus you'll look and talk silly.) Please floss, it’s the best thing you can do for your teeth and gums!

            -I’m very forward and eager to make friends. I consider myself a social octopus who reaches out to aggressively grab new friends. I live to help as many people as I can. I just come off as a little too eager at times and end up scaring people off. C’est la via.

            -I don’t drink often, but when I do drink, I drink to get drunk. I don’t see the purpose otherwise. I’m pretty uninhibited as it is. I don’t like beer, and hate bars. I would rather be experiencing new things in life than wasting my life in a club where people pass diseases like footballs. Many people claim that any town has “nothing to do”, but I think it’s just because they aren’t willing to seek out adventure. They are simply what I call escapologists who spend their lives escaping the current surrounding, in a never ending search for an undefined “something.” They externalize a search that should be internal.

(Some of these are unbelievable, but can all be verified.)

-I’ve broken a tailbone in a break dancing contest.

-I’ve had a sculpture put in a museum.

-I am a terrible speller. Feel free to email me website corrections.

-I’ve jumped off the NSB North Causeway 58 times.

-I've unintentionally lived with a truck-stop hooker.

-I’ve walked away unscratched from an 80 mile an hour, head-on collision.

-A psychic from New York tracked me down to tell me grave news of my future.

-I was stung by a stingray while boxing in the surf during a hurricane.

-I mooned Ralph Nader and John Kerry. I've never seen Bush.

-I've been tear gassed and pepper sprayed during a riot.

-I’ve been lifted airborne by a tornado.

-I’ve been tied up, placed in a sack, and thrown into water.

-I've won contests for body painting.

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-I’m claustrophobic.

-I love swords and ancient weapons.

-I had an ambulance called on me for eating the world's hottest pepper, whole.

-I’ve never done drugs, but once woke up to a girl snorting lines on me... awkward?

-I taught a seminar on taking and dodging punches.

-I’ve shown up to a party in nothing but a sock.

-I'm compelled to climb anything I can get my arms around.

-When I do drink, I laugh at anything.

-I'm pretty skilled at leather crafting.

-When I go to parties I usually have a backpack full of water balloons.

-I have a record for being turned down the most in high school (go me!)

-I’ve walked on broken glass and hot coals

.

-I go in and out of insomniac swings where I'll stay awake for days.

-My favorite game that my friends and I play is what we call fireball matrix where five or so of us, while heavily armed with a various assortment of fireworks run around and shoot each other. You get burned up pretty good, but it's great when you dodge these speeding balls of lights by centimeters. Max adrenaline.

-When young, I wanted to be a paleontologist, stunt man, then a pediatrician.

-I instinctively grab animals that run by me within my reach. In the past year, with my bare hands I've caught 2 birds mid flight, 3 squirrels, and one small monkey.

-I used to give elaborate haunted house tours.

-I once gave a back massage to a drunken midget.

-Friends joke I have Attention Surplus Disorder. I lack the ability to get tired of things.

            -IE. I once played a video game for 17 hours straight without a break.

            -IE. I lived for 5 months eating only the same chicken sandwich each day.