Audio

     The greatest gig anyone can ever have is hosting your own radio show. Basically your job is to entertain people by forcing your tastes on them. For a couple of years I ran a show with my partner Kate Page called Crank it Up! with Dr. K and The Zip. We played an eclectic mix of music, but mainly punk, metal, and industrial.

     In any spare moment I caught, I'd try to write and record some of my own songs to sneak onto the air. Unfortunately, most of them met a swift defeat at the hands of my own perfectionism. Using Arturia Storm 2, an older Macintosh, and a camcorder for a microphone, more often than not, I ultimately wound up frustrated and going to bed early. Every once and a while I was (and am still able to) make a few that pass as adequate, but far from good.

     I know I have no career in making music. (I sing like someone pushing Machoman Randy Savage backwards into a chipper shredder. I make the music by trial and error, and my lyrics are cheesy. So check them out if you want a good laugh.

     From my never to be released CD (Click the title for MP3 and time for lyrics):

All American Corporate Sellout

Crank it Up (Version 1.0)                         1:10            (Music: Aphex Twin, Steve Vai, HbMS)

Crank it Up (Version 2.0)                         3:17            (My cheesy opening theme)

Sloppy Pelican                                          1:02            (Music: David Bowie)

Sloppy Pelican Endorsement                    1:15            (Music: Faith No More / Daft Punk / Beck)

Bad to the Bone Auto                               1:14            (Music: Me)

Shelton's Used Cars                                  1:03            (Music: Fear Factory)

Trent                                                         4:46            (My attempt at Classic Industrial)

Blox                                                          2:59            (My attempt at Techno-Funk)

Countdown                                               1:49            (My attempt to keep an ex-girlfriend)

Countdown Instrumental                           2:13            (Cheesy Jazz Loop)

Motivation                                                3:26            (I hate baseless activism)

Motivation Instrumental                            3:30            (I’m so bad at trying to sound hardcore)

ILY                                                           3:57           (The worst thing I've ever made.)

ILY (Alternate Version)                           3:57           (Not any better. Only here for shame.)

ILY Instrumental                                      3:57            (I'm the next William hung.)

Shocked - My Last Words                        5:14             (The lyrics aren't too horrible.)

Shocked - My Last Words Instrumental   5:14            (That one section really needs help)