Tribute

Dec 16th, 1952 - Nov 26th, 2005

     "Blessed are those whose dreams are shaped by their hopes, not by their hurts. Saints are sinners who keep on trying. Never look at what you have lost, look at what you have left."

     Three weeks after my mother passed, my father and I were sitting in church and a slip of paper with that phrase written on it in my mothers handwriting had fallen out of her bible. My father commented on the fact that it was no wonder where I got my optimism from. I smiled because that quote seemed to sum up my mothers perspective on life nicely.

     As long as I could remember, she exemplified the meaning of love. She was one of those who truly put others ahead of herself. She lived to give. It was common knowledge that she was the "neighborhood mom" who fed, sheltered, and unofficially adopted any of the neighborhood kids that ever stopped by. Many would stop by to see here or go shopping with her even after my brother and I had moved away to college. She loved everyone she met like they were family.

     She set the example to all of us how a person should be. No matter what happened, she forgave us for all our mistakes and fumbles. Her outlook was to not dwell on the past but to improve the future. Whenever she envisioned the future, she saw the best possible outcome, and had the strength to weather whatever storm happened to bear down on her.

     Even as she aged into her 40's, she acted as if she were still in her 20's. I remember her wanting me to teach her wrestling moves while I was in high school. She ambushed my younger brother who was a half foot taller and attempted to wrestle him to the ground. It ended up in her cracking a rib, but she didn't care, she had fun proving she was still as tough as ever. She would listen to the radio and proudly proclaim that she knew that the song was by Pearl Jam. It was Stone Temple Pilots, but she was close. She never wanted to grow old to the point of being stuck in the past.

 PICTURE GALLERY

     When her health began to fail she worried about becoming a burden on the family when in fact she was the focal point around which the rest of us orbited. While in the hospital, when she woke up, her biggest worry was if my father was ok from not sleeping on his vigil. She knew we were all worried about her, but she kept her sense of humor with her.

     She could barely talk -- just enough to tell everyone she loved them. The doctor had trouble find vein's for a new IV so they gave her a "central line" where they go straight into the jugular. Now mind you, there is a comedian named Mitch Hedberg who has one liner. "I went to the doctor and all he did was suck my blood. Do not go to Dr. Acula." When they put that the line in, she pulled off her mask and whispered to my brother, "Tell you're brother that I met Dr. Acula."

     When it came her time, she passed surrounded by a few "adopted" daughters, with a son holding each hand, and in the arms of her husband. She lived to embody love and her life served as a lesson in it for anyone that knew her. At her memorial service, there were tears, but there were also smiles.

     Though we have lost her shell we have not lost her. Our dreams are shaped by passing her legacy instead of dwelling in our pain. The last note I found in her bible says, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." She never did.

We love you. Till we share drinks again. - Your Boys

     "New Smyrna Beach – Judy Backstrom Turney, 52, of Davis Drive, a dental receptionist, died Saturday night as the result of pulmonary fibrosis. Judy, attended school at Charleroi High School, in Charleroi, Pennsylvania, graduating in 1971, and spent her early life in Allenport, Pennsylvania. She moved with her family to Florida in 1993, settling in New Smyrna Beach. She attended Servants Quarters Fellowship Church.

     Survivors include her husband Dr. Ben Turney, two children Zac and Levi, her sister Pam Carson and husband Tom, her brother Rusty Backstrom and wife Candice, her mother Hila Backstrom Wheeles and husband Bill, brothers and sisters in-laws William and Estelle Turney, Genie Trickett, Laurie Schaffer, Jim Turney, father in-law Pastor Eugene Turney, 10 nieces and nephews, and many of her son’s friends, to whom she was a second mother. Judy enjoyed crafting, home decorating, fishing, scalloping, snorkeling, whitewater rafting, hiking, sports, and entertaining friends and family. A simple memorial service will be held for her at the Sapphire Beach Pavilions, overlooking the ocean and beach that she loved, at 10 AM Saturday Dec 3rd 2005. All friends are welcome to attend. Brother-in-law Rev. Tom Carson will be in charge of the service."