The Real Gilligan's Island Season 2

Show Experience 1

     When I thought about it, I had decided that there must be a curve because seven people didn't make for a very long show. We excited our van and marched up the beach. As I suspected, there was another team there. When I saw Shawn, he was giving me an evil eye, trying too hard. I knew it was going to be an us-versus-them kind of thing. I just smiled at him. The only good thing about being short is that I'm always underestimated. Plus, since I was acting the goofy role, this also let the others think that I wasn't as bright as I really am.

     We weren't told the rules of the game, but when everyone broke to see the camp, I decided go to work. I grabbed Maryanne Mandy and Professor Andy and pulled them down to the beach with me. I told them to grab any piece of garbage or scrap there, so that I could use it build things with if need be. As we gathered, I explained to them that since ultimately, it is the producers who decide who stays and goes that we needed to make ourselves exciting to ensure our place on the show. I proposed we fake a love triangle and give the audience what it wants. They were game.

     As I was a goofy character, they did have to edit and portray me as goofy, which meant cutting out anything particularly intelligent that I did. I explained that being out there is also a matter of calories, so right off the bat, I was pulling sea urchins out of the water and sucking down their gonads. (It's actually a form of sushi.) Using the urine spines and some cloth, I was able to construct a one-way bait trap. From my scrap, I made all kinds of useful things. Using bamboo, unraveling rope down to it's monofilament, and a safety pin, I was able to make a few fishing poles for us. Andy joked that maybe I should have been the professor. But, these early fish and food weren't shown on camera because it was supposed to be a big deal when we were awarded fishing gear as a prize.

     For the fire-building contest, I was the first one in the water and lead until my height disadvantage got the best of me. As it got tough for me to touch, everyone caught up. We brought our boxes in and had to make a fire from the materials in them. Unfortunately, everything was slightly damp. Both teams had used up all the matches, and no one was getting anywhere, so we were all given one more match. Luckily, I thought to look in the sand for reeds and straw to light. It worked and we won the shower. We didn't really have to pedal it, someone actually turned it on, but we had to make it look as if it really was set up like that.

     While there, Angie Everhart, did indeed cut her finger. As I was pretty much the survival expert out there, she came to me any time she wanted food. Even though she was on the opposite team, she was also one of the more attractive women I'd ever seen in person, so I was happy to feed her. However, one time, instead of carving up the coconut for her, I just gave her a split one with a knife. Instead of carving it out, she was stabbing at it with quick slashes and put the knife through her finger. Even after the surgery, to this day, she can no longer curl that finger all the way.

     While on the island, from time to time, guerillas with AK-47s would walk through our encampment and we would all freeze to watch. We were told that they were there for our protection to make sure we weren't abducted by other guerillas. You've got to love that Mexican government. Because of this reason, and the fact that we had to be on camera at all points of time, our ability to adventure was quite limited. There were only a few places we could go. We also had an animal expert who would routinely clear the area for any dangerous snakes or animals.

     We weren't supposed to talk to the cameramen, but they were actually pretty cool and would point out the best places to fish. I've randomly run into a few in the real world who filled me in on some of the things that went on behind the scenes that none of us knew about, the things I'm sure I can't contractually talk about.

     When it came time for the first competition, we were driven to that natural spring somewhere. It really was quite beautiful, but had a bit of a sulfur smell to it. We were loaded into our boats and told to bail the water out as the boat sank. I thought the idea for it was genius. What I wasn't aware of was that the orange team's boat started off with a couple inches of water in it while ours was bone dry. It looked as if Charlie was showing off by giving dainty bails, but in actuality, there was no water for him to bail

     Before each game, we were explained the rules and given a chance to ask what we could or couldn't do. On this game, there seemed to be some mix up and first we were told that once Gilligan pulls his plug, he must jump from the boat. Then we were told he was allowed to stay in. When it came down and they called my name to pull the plug, I forgot the correction and jumped from my boat. I was swimming away when everyone was shouting "What are you doing?" My action almost robbed our team of the advantage we were given with a dry boat in the beginning. Luckily I was able to get back in quickly and easily.

     The whole time, I was so focused, that I never saw Tiy-E drown. Although, there were easily 20 or so people watching from the side, and emergency divers under the water. He was never in too much danger, but Scott and Howie were genuinely concerned about him when they jumped in. While I bailed, Charlie was nervous about how fast I was doing it because I was cracking the coconut bailers since I was going so fast. Ultimately we won, and I tackled him into the water.

     The only real dangers were the large amounts of fire coral in the ocean. Off shore, the tides were incredibly strong, and any time I would go hunting or fishing, I would be covered in stings from the coral. Equal to those stings were the ones from the Army ants. They moved like a wave across the ground at the natural spring. I had to do my interviews quickly because we had to move before the ants made it to where the shot was set up. A few sentries got me good.

     We returned to camp minus Skipper Ken, and found that we were given a chest full of fishing equipment. I was pretty happy to get it, as I was the hunter. With the flippers, I was more able to keep from getting swept into the coral as I hunted. Andy was my hunting buddy out there. We had set up lobster traps, and taken turns switching my homemade spears for the spear with the elastic band. We were able to keep ourselves pretty well fed with what we caught. I had even speared about a two-foot grouper, but when I went to pull it out of the water to scream and show everyone it wiggled off the spear. I was heartbroken. The other story was that while swimming, I was putting the dead fish into a sack on my back. Just over the edge of the reef, I felt something nudging my back and turned around to find a shark interested in the fish. I quickly swam away, but soon kicked myself for not spearing him instead.

     Back on shore, I was convinced Tiy-E had faked his drowning to make himself appears a weak competitor and draw attention off the fact that he was the only person out there who could give me a physical run for the money. But as it turned out, he genuinely couldn't swim. Charlie brought him out and attempted to teach him one afternoon.

     When it came time for Howie's golf challenge, I had realized that even though I tried to dumb myself down and not show off all my ability, that I had indeed become the major threat. As expected, myself, along with Charlie, were chosen to sit out during the challenge. However, the challenge wasn't one we could have made a huge difference in, since it was all up to Howie’s putting skills. Andy did toss Charlie and I a couple avocados to eat while the rest of the team used them for the seeds. It was funny watching our team effortlessly smash them open on the rocks while the orange team gnawed at them like beavers.

     Each night we were forced to sit around the fire and talk about how this or that for hours. It was pretty monotonous, so I kept myself busy by teaching myself to weave and made a hat for Mandy and a few bowls and things we could use. Andy, Mandy, and I played our triangle game. While I inherently didn't really have any feelings for her, the competitor in me couldn't let him win, so it became an unofficial game.

     Of course during our camera interviews, we were led just like all TV shows. The producers would phrase questions to get something they wanted. "What are Tiy-E's worst qualities?" Of course I may not have anything against him, they wanted me to talk about how he was cocky, or Shawn was lazy. I knew that if I didn't give them what they wanted, they just wouldn't air it, so I said anything they wanted me to say, no matter how embarrassing or false, simply to get more TV exposure.

Continued in Part 2